


now i know (i'm never gonna love again)

by posiepark24



Series: Pen Park have it bad to Josie Saltzman [2]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, F/F, Healer Penelope Park, Josie being a tease, Underage Drug Use, a lot of henelope over here, also a bit of violence on the end of chapter three, also first meeting, also jed and penelope are cousins headcanon, but this is mostly penelope-centric, i love them, there's brooding penelope in here, where she spent her Christmas break processing the past year and months since she met josie saltzman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posiepark24/pseuds/posiepark24
Summary: Penelope Park doesn’t know when she really started to care or even fall in love with the succession of giving her heart. All she remembered was it was supposed to be a sort of distraction. Her ultimate mission in Salvatore is primarily tied to her family coven and relations. Nothing more, to be honest, an institution like this makes her skin crawls. As someone who had the freedom to be anywhere for the past decade due to being homeschooled. The prospect of staying inside the same space for the incoming years activates her flight response.(Where Penelope processed loving Josie Saltzman over Winter break with her cousin Jed and grandparents and returned to school and how she'll face her emotions)
Relationships: Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Series: Pen Park have it bad to Josie Saltzman [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148561
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	1. The Heart Drifts From Hot To Cold

**Author's Note:**

> aaaist... I forgot I finished the first part of this... this is a part of pen park have it bad for josie saltzman... lol

> You were alone, left out in the cold  
> Clinging to the ruin of your broken home  
> Too lost and hurting to carry your load  
> We all need someone to hold
> 
> You've been fighting the memory, all on your own  
> Nothing worsens, nothing grows  
> I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain  
> We all need someone to stay
> 
> -Someone to Stay, Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Penelope Park doesn’t know when she really started to care or even fall in love with the succession of giving her heart. All she remembered was it was supposed to be a sort of distraction. Her ultimate mission in Salvatore is primarily tied to her family coven and relations. Nothing more, to be honest, an institution like this makes her skin crawls. As someone who had the freedom to be anywhere for the past decade due to being homeschooled. The prospect of staying inside the same space for the incoming years activates her flight response. 

If it isn't for the extensive discipline that her coven instilled in her, maybe her rebellious streak would have dripped out to neglect her coven responsibilities. But alas, Penelope Park is nothing more but an emotionless accepting machine when it comes to her witch duties. Damn her level-headedness and upbringing, them knowing how to rile her up and by rile, challenging her with an almost impossible task. It might have had to do due to the fact that growing up being too alienated by her siblings, and her father, her prodigious magical ability has been a refuge for her. Something she’ll forever have despite everything, something she knew she’ll forever have. Until she realized her power is nothing compared to the possibility of losing the person she loved most. Now, funny how life really does suck. 

God, to clear it all out, besides the whole practiced compartmentalization she’s nothing but a damaged teen trying to breathe outside her coven influence. At least here in Salvatore, so her primary mission has been reduced into a side hustle to please her coven. Her main mission, however, is to took over the whole school, a way for her to have some sort of control. Maybe Archimedes Valentin Park would be proud once she thrives here, encompassing her darling of a daughter Panthea Anatolia Park. 

Thinking about the mixed emotions she had over her father's actions causes her to grit her molars. It has been three years since her father's descent to his doomed but somewhere inside her. She craved some sort of validation. A recognition that she’s deserving to be the Park’s legacy bearer for the Circle of the Divine Twilight but even on his last days, the Park patriarch is nothing but a cold entity who keeps on scolding her, questioning and undermining her decisions. 

_“It’s just your father’s way of showing he cares…”_ her mother's soothing yet steady voice cajoled her, it has been like that ever since. That the only parental warmth she experienced came from her mother. Aurora Park was an angel sent of a parent if she wasn’t too absorbed in the family business, still, she was glad to have her mother on her side, she even secretly loved the fussing. Her mother's job brought forth a whole experience of traveling around the world, accompanied by Stella, sometimes by aunt Pan and Lillian (the first two being her coven tutor and the latter her security, who randomly taught her self-defense) on her mother business endeavor on the art world. 

Her rampant thought about her family came to a halt when she saw her.

Josette Olivia Saltzman. Josie. Jo-Jo. Her light in the darkest of night. Okay, that’s too cheesy, even for her but the girl really does brighten her day or night. Whichever. 

Until she remembered that she’s been avoiding the girl since the aftermath of the Wickery incident. 

Cold grips tightly on her spine as she remembered the last night incident. 

Hope had laughed on her face in her predicament days ago and she wanted to drown the tribrid for some time now. What such luck she had to have Hope around in a game of spin the bottle while her sister is also present. 

Instead of grabbing lunch, she turned back to her room. She pulled her phone out of her uniform pocket. 

_calling one of my unnecessary huge_

_amount of winning favor, red._

_What is it, Penelope?_

_Make it quick, I’m in the middle_

_of choosing between_

_steaming beef stroganoff and_

_good old porterhouse steak_

_lunch delivered to my room, thanks_

_you could’ve asked your girls for that._

_i saw you in the dining hall. i’m hungry_

_o, and you saw josie, she’s looking around_

_for you, you dumbass_

_exactly why i’m eating in my room_

_you’re an idiot. what do you want?_

_what have chef Noel cooked up?_

_aside from very western cuisine_

_there’s spicy beef rendang you’ve been_

_asking for weeks from him._

_great, a rice bowl of that, and_

_coconut water_

_K_

Somehow she’s glad Hope doesn’t push. It’s why they worked. A sort of respect has been established between them despite the thrashy banter that they played outside, after all, it was just for kicks and they never really poke on too personal matters. A sort of entertainment for their classes because Hope somehow became her rival after too many challenging looks in the subjects they shared. She even knew it had become a source of betting pool her ass of a cousin pulled. However, it had been a year since she started the con she perfectly pulled on roping Hope Mikaelson to hang out in her room. A sly play on her part to subject the girl on a battle of chess and earning an hour of hanging out and a favor to do whatever bidding on whoever wins on their game, in the end, the tribrid figured out that she got set up after losing so badly. 

“What happened again that you’re avoiding Josie like the plague? I mean, aside from the spin the bottle. I feel like I’m missing something.”

Penelope whipped her head to her door, she’s lying on her back staring aimlessly at the wooden cracks in the ceiling. There stood an auburn-haired girl balancing a tray filled with plates and drinks. She pushes herself up and out of her bed. Meeting the girl on her couch, her sitting while Hope put the tray down in the middle of the refectory stained glass table, before sitting on the floor.

“Who says I’m avoiding her.”

“I got you on my messages, Park.”

“Nothing, everything is cool, yeah, cool.”

“Yeah, and you’re speaking nerd.”

“I— wow, Mikaelson, between the two of us, you’re the biggest nerd, you just shield it with the whole loner and angst-filled aura but underneath.”

“Shut up, just tell me why your royal highness is not gracing the tables of the ‘it’ cliques downstairs?” She huffs, knowing how inescapable her situation now, preferring to escape but couldn’t do so instead she bid her time to think as she grabs her bowl and a spoon, “and don’t try to say it wasn’t because of Josie because I’m tired of your denial ass. I told you just asked her. She’s been laying it down on you ever…”

“I— okay, I might have gone overboard last night, something went down. Josie got hurt, Jed was responsible I lost control. I was mad and now I don’t have a face to really explained what happened.”

“Is this about the Wickery?”

“Yes, stupid Thea visiting the school Friday night just to mess my Saturday by accepting her dare to join her stupid Wickery game. I mean she’s supposed to be in uni, right, I swear to god all she does is make my life miserable.”

Hope laughed at her, great, her friend laughed at her. Stupid. Fucking. Feelings. She never really thought it would come to this, but here it is, it’s happening. The first time she saw her, it was clear genuine entertainment and curiosity but now whenever her mind drifts off to the taller brunette with one smallest waist possible, the innocent chocolate brown orbs, and pouty lips dressed like the good girl that she’s not; makes her heart flutter in ways she never knew is possible. 

“Pen, I don’t know about you but I know you’re crazy about the girl… and I’m tired of witnessing the sexual tension so high-strung whenever you two are in the same room. Maybe it’s time you finally act and accept the fact that you like Josie.” Hope’s tone is serious, something rare between them. Yeah, Penelope Park and Hope Mikaelson hang on the daily but mostly it revolves around their classes together, witchcraft—whenever Hope needed another witch so she doesn’t lose control while she performed a complicated spell Penelope have been her go-to—, chess and her regaling the play by play of any dumbassery that she witnessed outside. It was not usual for them to talked deeply, it could have been counted on her two hands the times they got too real with each other. Between them, she’s the usual one who jabs on Hope’s skittish behavior about her loner exterior. If it hadn’t for the fact that she pledged Hope in OBR their friendship wouldn’t really tighten. 

Hope’s advice rung inside her head as she kept quiet and focused on her meal. Mostly getting lost on the thought of the times she almost crossed the line on the headmaster’s brunette daughter. 

“I’m not sure I’m built to fall in love.” a laced of insecurity is readable in her voice. She set the half-eaten bowl of beef rendang on the coffee table in front of her. 

There is a beat of silence before Hope spoke.

“Same,” a small grin spread her face as she threw a look on her side. Hope is halfway on her steak, and mid-stiffen on slicing the beef.

“Right, like think about it. We’re mess-up overachievers in here. What have we had to offer for someone like Josie Saltzman? I’ll be another mess for her to fix, and I don’t even need to be fixed but Josie— Josie is a fixer. She already thinks I’m too messed up. Not that I am but I’m far more functioning kind of mess… but _still_ a mess and she’ll try to fix it and she’ll get hurt once she realized I couldn’t be fixed.” she rants. The amount of time she spent with the brunette was growing rapidly to greater numbers compared to last year. Though it usually involved mentoring the younger siphoner now it ends up on her occasionally letting her wall down and she could see how much the other girl is itching to save her or something. _Josie is someone who will go on a huge lecture on why it’s bad to smoke marijuana every time they see each other. Or why she should stop drinking, or the times Josie lectured her about pulling a prank on Alaric Saltzman._ The last one, she barely minds. The guy constantly had it coming.

“Peez, you created Terra Mater for her. Please. You’re enough. You’ve gone to great lengths teaching her spells that are not allowed here because Dr. Saltzman is too restricting to supernaturals on reaching their full potential. You’ve been hedging her to be a part of OBR, and don’t deny it. The circle meeting with the magi were you going off and backing her to be a part of the guild since she’s an upcoming freshman. Do you even want me to remind you about two months ago? Telling her to take as much from you while she got transported to the arena for the trial.” 

She looked down on her half-eaten food. Hope wasn’t lying but at the same time. Hope wasn’t even aware of all the things she really does inside this school. Even then she knew Hope will be wary of her once some wrong move was made, trust shattering. Good thing she really is good at playing the field. Disgusting, really, but she’s built for this. 

It’s another reminder that whatever she developed for the four years stay here, matter it be platonic or romantic, will crash and burn. She sighed. Forcing herself to finished her food before drinking the glass of coconut water without much thinking. Picking herself up, she went to one of her wall shelves where her relaxing weed stash is located. Getting one of her already rolled joints and opening her window to at least let out the smoke while she sealed the door area with a spell.

“You’re just gonna smoke your _Saltzman situation_ away?”

“Hope, I like you but If you don’t— I really not in the mood to be bothered to make a move.”

“Why? You like her, honestly, you liked her since you came here that fall of 2027. I mean I might have been a loner but I’m definitely not blind. It’s been what, December 2028. You’re wasting so much time and for what?” she was a mid drag when Hope adds, “Or maybe you’re afraid that maybe _she’s it_.” This earned her to looked like an amateur smoker on how bad she coughs upon hearing that.

She almost didn’t get the words out. “God, I could practically kill you for that.” her eyes red from tears as she lunges for her water in her mini-fridge. Making the burning of her chest stops as she breathes deeply before chugging some of the water.

Deep inside her, she knew something snaps. Hearing the words that she’s too afraid to acknowledge. A faraway conversation with her aunt Astra came rushing back in the forefront of her mind

_“Auntie, why aren’t you married…” it was Penelope’s curiosity of a five-year-old that opened that topic. Her aunt was then still a High Witch on their coven but an elder already for the Park family. It occurred to her as she got dragged to one of the schools in Seattle where her Aunt’s oldest son, Xavier and Pax is studying. It was family day and aunt Astra behind her busy schedule try to be present in her boys' life. Her being baby-sat by the scientist has something to do with her father being away in Tokyo for business and it just coincides that her mother has longer trips in Africa which required her to stay put with one of her aunts._

_“We Park only falls in love, once, Penelope. Always remember that.”_

_“What does fall in love means?”_

_“It’s about this kind of pull you’ll feel when you met your person. It’s the feeling of strong attachment, making them your world, random things remind you of them, and that feeling that you just want to lie beside each other forever. Seeing them happy fills us up with indescribable happiness and when they are hurting the pain we feel is much more like we couldn’t take it, our heart wouldn’t. We Parks are tied to that, so remember, if you ever really fall in love, hold unto it tight and never let it go because it would be miserable if you end up losing your person.” there’s a faraway looked on her aunt._

Back then Penelope doesn’t understand the wistful looked that her aunt shared with her until she grew a little up. Learning that aunt Astra’s long-time boyfriend died from a car accident while her aunt was in labor with Paxon. 

Mitchell Andrea Hughes was her aunt Astra’s long-time boyfriend, and a human. They met when she was in MIT and it was a huge commotion to the Park family who never accepts anyone to the family except if you are of witch descent. Her aunt so ready to disavow the family until it was her grandmother who begged for the two, still, Archibald Vernon Park Sr. was a tyrant of a father. 

Her grandfather was so opposed to the relationship that the accident whispered foul play but was never cleared. To this day she couldn’t believe that her aunt remained loyal to the family, though, she was sure the anger was there but who to blame anymore. When the old fart died two years ago, she hadn’t seen her aunt attend the funeral lest visit the family mausoleum. 

“You alright, Pen?”

She moved near her bed, trying to wrap her head about the bomb that Hope dropped on her as she thought of her aunt’s tragic love story, not to add her aunt Pan have been lovelorn. God, it was pathetic. 

Trickle the theory back to her situation. It’s now creeping on her, silently holding her on the spot with a vice-like grip while the walls try to close on her. 

Does she feel like Josie is it?

Is it really possible?

Maybe it’s just the same as what she felt from An?

Like it was fascination and admiration, right?

It could, right?

It plays on her head, ruminating oblivion she wanted to escape but couldn’t that even her relaxing weed has been rendered helpless on making her brain synapses to slow down. 

She stared at Hope, a concerned looked was plastered on the tribrid face. 

Damnit. 

Her OCD is picking up and she couldn’t even stop herself because this is new territory. She knew she’s spiraling but she couldn’t really stop that all she could pull out was, “I don’t think so…” she muttered, that if it wasn’t for Hope’s werewolf keen senses, she wouldn’t hear her.

Hope is quick to leave her plate and sat on the edge of her bed. 

“What’s wrong…?”

Why is she fucking crying? Really, in front of the tribrid? Not that she doesn’t like to look vulnerable, she caught herself being vulnerable to the tribrid but this is the first time tears are streaming down her face. How pathetic is that? She just realized something. Isn’t she supposed to celebrate when things like this happened? But she— this— the flirting? How stupid of her that she falls for the flustered look, the affection thrown at her when there’s a sea of students around here throwing themselves at her. 

“What if I’m really in love with Josie… Hope! I couldn’t!” 

“Okay, calm down, you’re the only person who I know has a different reaction once they figured out they like someone.”

“I couldn’t like Josie, I—“

“Okay, you’re freaking out. Is this really the first time you really like someone, cause damn, Park…” Hope was smiling at her but Penelope grimaced, “I’m telling you is not that bad, I mean looking at my rap sheet, you liking Josie is far safer over my only romantic dalliance. Kinda traumatic, if I’m being honest and he’s my first kiss when he was plotting and signing my family’s death warrants. That’s how bad it was.” Hope has a sheepish chuckle displayed in front of her, while her mind still dances on the idea of the talk she had when she was younger melding to the moments she spent with the brunette. Paying no mind on the way Hope rambled about teenage love and her crushes because goddamnit. Penelope Park doesn’t do teenage love unless it’s for show.

It’s hitting her like a block of rocks coming from the steep hillside while she lay unmovable on her spot.

Waiting for the ponderosity of what it all meant. 

She admits if Josie was it. It’s not really that bad but it also meant she couldn’t mess it up. She can even acknowledge she liked the girl the first time she laid eyes on her. She much enjoyed her company even though half the time they end up bickering because Josie has the huge _‘no, Penelope’_ personality when it comes to things she does but it became too endearing, now, she even loves flustering the other girl to no end. 

“Hope! shit! We had a paper to write later for the Elemental class we had. You need to be our buffer!” Penelope suddenly snaps out of her dazed musing. Hope has a bewildered look of no way.

“I thought we’re keeping this friendship under-wraps?”

“Josie knew we hang out, she asked about you sometimes.”

There’s an unreadable expression from Hope. Then it cracks. She knew she’s fucked. Way to go about keeping your high wall when she pathetically brings it all down for Josie Saltzman without even knowing it.

“Well, no, figure your shit out and talk to Josie, or maybe tell me the real reason why you needed a buffer?”

“You don’t understand…”

There is a devastating truth riding on this, through the times she spent with the siphoner. _Without realizing it she already gave her heart_ and once it all comes crashing down. Penelope would need more than a call from heaven to help herself wrapped her head around it. God, she basically needs at least months to wrap her head on it.

“Try to make me, Park, and stop being overdramatic… if you like her go for it. I know I told you off last year but we weren’t really friends that time and now I get to know you and you’re decent and actually great at pulling Josie out of her shell, so why not give it a try.”

_If it was just that easy. Hope Andrea Mikaelson, but you don’t understand. This talk about forever, and I’m a mess. Between the two of us, you’ve been the one who has been too honest to me about your trauma not that we really talk about it but you slipped it out but you don’t know the depth of my suffering, it was always glossed over._

Instead of speaking up her mind, she put the joint between her lips, taking a deep drag and letting the smoke spread through every part of her lungs before releasing it out. 

She pushes the tears away using the back of her hand, clearing her throat she looked at Hope, mustering all the stoic bone inside her.

“Never mind. I’ll deal with it.”

“Come on, P! What? You just gonna act like that you’re not internally having a meltdown right now?”

“It’s— it’s complicated. I have priorities?”

“Don’t we all?”

“I witnessed my parent loved each other too much but I also saw them hurting too much because of that love.” she closed her eyes, not sure how to explain her predicament. 

“You’re not making any sense, P.” 

“My father is under a magical coma for three years now… Our healers said that his soul is not on his body and for two years that I stayed by my mother's side I saw how much she’s hurting. I promised myself even though I hated him most of my life that I’ll try to get him back because I couldn’t look at my mother’s eye and see how dull it became even though she tries to mask it in front of us. Why do you think I obsessed about my magical limits too much. You’re not the only one who blames bad stuff on themselves Hope, and, loving someone, or even thinking of being with someone, having the kind of happiness that my mother was robbed of because the love of her life lay still on our family sanctum. I don’t deserve it because I feel like I was the cause of it all.”

Penelope broke down after that, thankfully Hope holds her in her arms. She couldn’t continue. Couldn’t really let out all the pain constricting her heart like a thorny vine. She couldn’t tell the fact that the man she hated all her life put distance between them because he was scared of her future. How her father's journey to the afterlife was driven by the love he had for her to stop accepting a prophesy and now her mother suffers the affliction of living life like an emotionless mother who has five children to think and raise.

***

Hope helped her afterward. She doesn’t question her anymore and she was canceling on Josie and consequently dodging the girl every damn time. Since that December and honestly, it was great that Mr. Furke was a personal mentor. He doesn’t really list her absences before Christmas break, he does however meet with her one time in the library and told her off to fix whatever problems she’s dealing with for her to missed his class. 

After almost two weeks of hiding and giving Josie the cold shoulder, in just a few hours a car will pick her up, a sign of her winter break starting. Before that, she makes sure that all the spell she needed to cast inside her room is all done to make sure that when she went back that it would stay in its pristine look. She was clutching her backpack and thinking of what to put when Hope Mikaelson entered from her bathroom door.

Penelope quirks her brow, questioning the auburn-haired girl.

“I gave you time to fix your shit, P. But it’s been weeks… When you return, deal with it, okay? I couldn’t make excuses to Josie anymore. She acts like she doesn’t care but the girl was hurting from your actions. You sent Jas to your usual spell casting study date, you sent Bri your research on the one class you had together and she’s losing it. She doesn’t understand why you pulled away.” 

She grabs her leather-bound sketchpad and her roll case, busying herself on putting it on her backpack instead of dealing with Hope’s words.

“I will, you sure you’re not going home to New Orleans? I could ask the pilot to drop you off at Louis Armstrong, we still have a few hours, before I go to France and meet my grandparents.”

“No, I’m not dealing with you and Jed inside a flying tin can. Aunt Bex pulled a family meeting that today holidays will be spent in Dad’s house here in Mystic Falls. I need to fix the place, aunt Freya and Keelin are flying tomorrow. At least I need to get one of the rooms ready and baby-proof it. Even the west coasters are flying here.” 

“Well, good luck. I’m so glad we don’t really do Christmas.” Penelope grin as she saw how Hope grimaced. The tribrid hated this particular holiday despite her love for her family.

***

Penelope was waiting in the portico for the car that would take her and Jed to the private airstrip near Mystic Falls when her cousin pulls out beside her. She was in the middle of choosing a song and putting her headphones in. She huffed in annoyance, she visited the guy after their altercation but it was more threatening his lizard brain cousin about his actions can cause on other people.

“P!” she stared at the tall neanderthal next to her, she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t talk to me, Jedidiah.” 

“Oh, come on…”

“I still don’t forgive you, stop being an ass.” she rolled her eyes. Sometimes she hated her life, why did she even get stuck with the magically challenged werewolf cousin.

“I tried making it up to Josie,”

“Don’t care,” Jed has studied in Salvatore since he was a kid, he was just really bad at magic but what to expect her grandfather family on the mother side barely have enough magical abilities when it came to men compared to the women in their line, then two years ago the slope incident happened. 

“P,” a heavily tinted Maybach pulled over, she grabs the strap of her backpack as she shifted her weight, waiting for a tall blonde to get out from the driver seat and open her door.

“I’m not sharing the backseat with you,” she whispered angrily at the wolf as she put her headphones on and smiled at Lillian who opened her door. “He’s not riding on the back with me.” A confused look was thrown at her but she shrugs it off. 

She reclined the flushed cream leather a little then took out her drawing pad and her drawing kit case as the beat of rock music filled her ears. Penelope loved to draw, it’s another form of therapy for her, it makes her mind focus on one image in her mind as she works on the layering, picturing the casting of light, and now she found herself drawing the riverbank near her home in Ravenwood. 

She was busy outlining and working on the depth of the surrounding making sure the trees on the other side of the riverbank is set when the car pull over to the private airstrip. She closed her leather-bound sketchpad and rolling her leather kit case. They’ve met with the customs agent right through the hangar, it wasn’t tedious, between her and Jed she’s not hauling anything, giving her passport and id’s that the security check needed then she’s inside and going back to her previous endeavor. She usually travels light. A backpack where she could put the utmost necessities, a few books she’d like to read again, her sketchbook materials, her laptop, and chargers. She doesn’t mind not bringing clothes as most of the time she had her wardrobe prepared by Lillian in advance. 

“Is ma coming to the trip?”

She inquired, the only reason she’s flying to Europe was because of her mother’s family and somewhat because of her dad. Colmar has been a haven for her father in his teenage years when he was cast out of the family. It was then that her mother and father met again and why he bought a vineyard just in the outskirt of Colmar, nearer the Volges when they got married and when her father step-in into the family business, establishing an agrobiology research center for Ethuil Pharmaceutical.

“Madam Aurora and Lady Pan were asked by Lady Astra to attend the company, Christmas Gala. You knew they needed to front that they cared about human traditions.” she nods, understanding the constraint of how to live as a Park and how it extends to her mother’s duty. “Your grandfather however is available, he went back to London as quick as he wrapped his business in Washington and will be down the vineyard by nightfall.”

Penelope nods, accepting her fate that her winter break will revolve around coven responsibility and be entertained by her grandfather from time to time. Her grandmother was handling the business left to her in London with the help of Jed’s father, uncle Jordan. While his grandfather who longed retired from his diplomatic work still get roped once in a while to the politics inside Washington, aside from that he occasional speak around universities where foreign relation students studies, but the old man mostly spent his day reading, playing chess, or Surakarta or accompanying her grandmother. 

Her grandfather despite his lineage of being a witch never really practice or interested in it due to the fact that he was a man and their power were far minuscule when they try to practice compared to the women in the family, hence Jed poor magical ability, though she thinks he really wanted to be one and it frustrates the wolf to no end being the only child and not being able to be one when he grew up surrounded by witches.


	2. What If It's Not Meant For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penelope in France.... uhm, just an overview of her life with her family and coven duty. I enjoyed writing this. I have this written and told everyone I'm posting it the other day but I got carried away and finished chapter three too so why not do a double update. I also enjoyed exploring Penelope's possible Indonesian heritage and laced up one of my theories.

> She said that the part is over  
>  In the morning she comes to Dover  
>  She always been a loner  
>  Nobody ever known her  
>    
>  Are those mysterious eyes  
>  That you try hard to disguse  
>  I knew I would find  
>  You'd be a very hard act to follow  
>  I, don't see no future in tomorrow  
>    
>  Though the girls are meeting  
>  It can't give me that feeling  
>  Does it take a lot of beating?  
>  Nothing else has meaning  
>  Meaning
> 
> -A Very Hard Act to Follow by Naked Eyes

“It’s past midnight, you need to sleep, or else jet-lagged will sink.”

A soft hand touches her shoulder, she is currently on the veranda. She immediately put the light out of her blunt and magically dispose of it while summoning a chilly wind to blew the smoke out of the large window as she looked small next to her grandfather. 

She had excused herself once they reach the vineyard and went to her assigned room as it was midnight when they reach Colmar, but she twists and turns in her bed that she decided to wander and light a blunt.

“Opa…”

She was so lost in her head and she couldn’t even quell her insomnia that she found herself in the gallery overlooking the vineyard. It’s currently pruned and even with little light of the crescent moon and stars, she could see frost enveloping each stem. 

“I thought you were tired from the flight?”

She was glad the old man doesn’t comment on the weed, instead ask her about her excused since she set foot in the villa. It’s been established that her grandfather wasn’t as critical as her grandmother and mother so she knew she’s okay but she knew she couldn’t continue smoking in front of him. 

“Yeah,”

Growing up, she had a hard time sleeping but her chronic insomnia worsens after the accident in Romania.

She grips the sill as she looked over the dark horizon, trying to tether herself back to her surroundings instead of the memories from years ago.

“I’m just a bit restless, is all. Is Nan flying later?”

“She is, just something to fix in the auction and they’ll fly together with your uncle, brothers, and sisters.”

Internally she grimaced, her mother’s twin is the kind of uncle who’s trying to look all cool in front of them. She’d rather spent some solitude alone but she knew she couldn’t escape her family. Tomorrow, most of her cousins will arrive the same as the two other families involved with their coven. It’s a tradition for the younger generation of the circle of divine twilight to hold meditative rituals, giving back energy to nature and celebrating the winter solstice. It’s a twelve-hour ritual followed by days of solitude and days before is filled with preparation and as the current protégé of the coven leader, she has duties to tend. Most of her cousins from the coven are in Europe studying hence the solution to do this in Colmar. She’d rather do it in Ravenwood but knowing her father and his siblings consecrated the patch of land near the forest where his cabins are located. It’s one of the most logical places to hold it.

“Alright, I’ll try to sleep,” she said as she flicks her wrist to close the window she opened as she walked back inside the hallway. “Good night, Opa.” 

“Good night, 'nak.” 

Penelope closed her door and darkness surrounds her until the magical ceiling starts to glow, she looked up, the milky way have always been vast and the band of light and purple glows down on her, enveloping her in some kind of warmth. It was aunt Pan’s spell, as a small child she used to be afraid of the dark, it was an irrational fear of not seeing or not knowing what’s happening in the dark and her imaginative mind thinking the worst of the worst happening, making her restless. Her aunt made this spell, to help her sleep. Float through the darkness. It works. Since then she requested dark curtains and total darkness except for the glow of the starry night when she sleeps, but tonight it was different. 

With a murmur of a spell and the snaps of her fingers, the wall lights and the chandelier in the middle of the canopy bed are all lit. She grabs her bag and light a silencing spell and grabs the book before laying down in her bed. 

She used to obsess over the formula, over spells, and over her power, to the point that it controls her when she was younger, in an unhealthy dose. It doesn’t matter if it’s bad or the action might have bad consequences because of the drive inside her. Though Penelope’s Machiavellian outlook was fuelled by her late grandfather there is still some difference between them. She’s never fuelled by greed. Mostly, it’s her emotion and her care for people that she considered family that drove her to be like this.

So she lay there thinking back on her actions and the emotions that were accompanied as she does her action surrounding a particular brunette.

It’s not a shocker to hear that she liked Josie because she knew. Deep inside her, she knew and she watched herself in passivity to indulged and basked on the brunette’s presence. What she wasn’t ready for was how Hope worded her interest to the brunette.

For someone to voice out the very voice inside her head is what surges her into a panic. To think she met the love of her life at this age and the possibility that Josie wouldn’t feel the same kill her already. It’s all the fears taking roots inside her and petrifying her to take any action. It’s why since last year she settled for subtle hanging out, to watch in the distance, to get distracted, and focused more on her responsibility because as much as she wanted to entertain the idea. Another part of her was too scared, too scared to disappoint, to not know what to do, and scared that what happened to her parent might happen to her. So she blissfully disregards the thought.

____

Penelope spent days helping the whole coven but half her mind wasn’t present at the task at hand. On the third and last day of the ritual, her brother, Percy, confronts her as she walked with a steaming mug of coffee outside. Feeling the harsh winter on her face, she never really like it but it wasn’t unwelcome either, accepting that it is in fact part of the season, that it’s all part of the balance. But she preferred the summer and spring where she could stay out most of the time stargazing or be under the sun and not worrying about rain or ice.

“Hey,” 

Her brother is not much on breaking rules but for this to happen, Percy realized she’s giving half the attention because the older boy is an empath or generally a psychic. He could feel and hear what everyone feels or thinks, it’s the reason why her aunt works on a talisman for her brother. To dull most of it but he could still tune it on a specific person, she knew he couldn’t get to her head but her emotion, however. He could feel it.

“Lil’ sis?” she rolled her eyes.

“I think Pria deserves that title more than I do,” there’s a soft chuckle from her brother but he smiled.

“Penny,” he holds her wrist, there’s a subtle graze on her wrist, a well-soothed touch he does to them whenever they are all over the place. “You can always talk to me…” Between Percy and Thea, her brother has always been attuned to her, Percy is compassionate, soft-hearted, and too family-oriented. Thea on the other hand, cared more for her friends and self while Percy despite his Mr. Popular Jock persona is always checking on each of them however far they are. 

“Please, I knew you couldn’t wait to get out of here and ski with your friends in Chamonix..”

“Yeah but I get worried when it comes to you not acting like yourself.”

She shut her eyes, inhaled deeply, the smell of dew and coffee is in the air.

“I’m fine, let’s finish this.” she drank the coffee left on her mug and went into the inner circle with all the Park where their consciousness will flow in the astral plane. 

“We’ll talk before I go, okay?” she heard Percy’s baritone voice. 

____

Penelope stared at the computer, they are back in the villa, her companion has been culled to a handful of family members as the others went on their way. Her grandparents,uncle, Jed, and Percy are somewhere around the properties. Her older sisters even the youngest quickly left with her mother to indulge on some private tropic island to enjoy the rest of the holiday break under the sun with some of their invited friends and cousins. 

She’s been staring at the screen for hours, Hope sent her an email with attached photos of the Mikaelsons’ this Christmas, the knitted sweaters are a bit over the top for her but then again, she knew how big about traditions most families are unlike her, she’s practically a grinch about holidays. Large families congregating together and the weird tension around the air for not liking certain people can always bring her mood down. She sent back a picture of the solstice preparations on the sanctum, the big stone works are immaculate but it’s hidden; if normal people looked at the topography of the land they wouldn't catch it. She closes the laptop and returns her attention back to her phone as she walks towards the parlor to lounge around. 

A soft smile appears on her, it seems like Christmas is back to normal to the twins. A picture of the twins with Caroline with the whole Gilbert-Salvatore, and Bennett-St. John’s are posted on Lizzie and Josie’s Instagram, they’re in some cabin. She’s mindlessly scrolling through her feed when her grandmother entered with scones with separated thick cream and jelly. 

“Nan,” she helped the old woman put the tray of food on the wooden settee table. 

She watches as one of their servants brought the tea set, time for her grandmother’s famous tea time. A frequent event for her grandmother, where she grilled her grandchildren about the things that are happening in their life. The old woman is busy managing the auctions and overseeing the family business but she always made time for each of them whenever holidays are around. 

“Penelope, aren’t you going out to see the town?” her grandmother starts, it seems subtle but she could see how this is going. 

“I don’t know, Nan…” she looked around, sarcasm bubbling under her chest as if she could see the weather outside. But she has the feeling that it has been freezing and she wasn’t in the mood even with help of magic to loiter outside, either to mingle with tourists or locals. 

“There are a few festivals being held in the town square, you know.” her grandmother urged her as she pushes herself to sit down opposite the rocker where the old woman sat. 

Penelope studied her grandmother, the old woman has salt-pepper hair, shoulder-length hair, a stocky figure with harsh expression despite it, there’s a certain warmth about her. She deflates. Better to ride it out than be caught in circles. 

“I’m not really looking forward to going out.”

“Your brother has been looking for you this breakfast, he wanted you to know that he would bugger you on coming to his ski-trip.”

She grimaces and let out a loud whine, “I don’t think going with Percy would lighten my mood, his company is not necessarily the greatest of the bunch.” her grandmother lightly shakes her head with a tight smile, they both knew the ski trip with uncle Jordan, Jed, Percy, and his boys will literally consist of locker talk and she’d rather stay away. 

“Well, your grandfather’s idea of getting you out is to teach you to drive. He got the Iso to be transported overseas here from Richmond.” 

She flinches and drops her head back, it seems even though she has less than a week before going back to the boarding school, her days are already numbered with activities she didn’t sign up for. Her grandmother has started preparing the tea and putting a teaspoon of brown sugar first before the hot black tea and pushing it to her. Her grandmother even with her British upbringing has caved to her grandfather’s tradition of drinking hot tea. No milk, brown sugar on the bottom first without stirring. 

“Stop brooding and enjoy,” there is teasing on her grandmother, she rolled her eyes but tried the scone with some jelly and cream. 

“I’m not brooding,” she bit some and her grandmother look at her with questioning glee. “It’s good, nan.” she placates the old woman.

“You’ve been miles away since we saw each other,”

“I have a lot on my mind,”

“Anything you’d like to share in particular?” It’s a challenging look that she would fight but then, “I’m old and I definitely went through you’re going through at your age. Like the saying goes that you're on your way but I'm already going back” it wasn’t forceful, more like teasing her to talk. In all of her siblings, it’s always her who have been keeping things to herself. “I’m no witch but I’ve been a youngster once.” she let out a small laugh before sipping the bitter tea. “Is it a matter of the heart, Penny?” she almost chokes and puts the tea cup back on the table. 

“NAN!” Penelope said as she recovered.

“What? Can’t I be interested in my granddaughter’s dating life? Your mother barely tells me stories about you, kids, I’d needed to always ask you all personally. Now that I’m done questioning Andy and Thea. It’s your turn.”

“Did you really get me alone just to ask me that?” she asked unbelievably.

“Penelope, you’re not subtle as you’d like. I’ve seen you checking your phone more frequently. Your brother even mentioned you being distracted, you’re never distracted, child.”

“It’s just Mikaelson…”

“Hope Mikaelson?” she uneasily nods, she could see the prejudice on her grandmother’s features. Her grandmother being a St. John and knowing the thousand years of debauchery and strife that the Original family has caused was not lost to her. She put the half-eaten scone back to the side plate and took a small sip of the black tea. Thinking of how to approach the subject, she cares about Hope that she really hates how others perceive the girl. 

“Is it bad?”

Her grandmother schooled her features but shake her head no, “she’s great… we’re taking most of the classes together and she knows how to play chess and our room are adjacent to each other. It’s not hard to build a friendship with that.”

“Your love problem is Hope Mikaelson?” her eyes widen and easily shook her head with a hard no.

“NO! Nan! We’re friends,” but the embarrassing tint on her cheeks has said otherwise as her grandmother’s small smirk is spreading partnered with soft nodding. “I swear, we’re friends. She just pointed out something about me and this girl in our lower year. It’s probably nothing.”

“Yet you could not take her off your mind?”

“Something like that,”

“Penelope Veronique Alas Park.”

“Nan, I don’t know… I’m not exactly attuned to dating and all that.”

“Really? You already forget your whole declaration of marrying, a lady named, Anastasia Fowler?” she grimaced, that was something she’d liked to forget. Her seven years old self and her blinded crush since then to the Grecian beauty and the daughter of the Ionic Regent.

“I’d like every memory of my younger years to be scraped off my brain.” 

“Penelope, you’re always about getting whatever you want. What’s stopping you now?” she stops sipping the tea again, slight sweetness is now present, her grandmother is right. All her life she worked on getting whatever she wants.

“The coven frowns upon distraction, and dating equates distraction?”

“Is it really?” she studied the light sconces on the wall, near the piano where an old renaissance painting is walled. “Aren’t you and your mother have come to an arrangement about you enjoying your high school life without the burdensome responsibilities, like how the twins are.”

“Yeah, well, Aunt Astra still needs me—“

“For ceremonial purposes, Penelope. She was even light on you by extending your ascension for the Grand Priestess position. I saw the outline, it’s not bad.”

“Which meant I needed to perform well in my incoming sixteenth birthday.” Her role as primus witch for four years under the grand priestess has been written since her birth, for her upcoming ascension as the primus high witch, she sighed. Already thinking of the incoming Februalia and the whole clan meeting in Ravenwood for her final trial to be initiated to the high witch circle. Thus, College meant two things, duties, and rituals to claim the elder position until she’s inducted to be the Grand Priestess and then Supreme High Witch to take her aunt position. 

“You’ll do good, now, don’t distract me and tell me about the girl that’s occupying your mind.”

“It’s nothing, Nan. She’s…”

“You talked to your Opa about her?”

“No, there’s nothing. Hope was just teasing me about her.”

“O, dear. Is that the girl Thea was telling me about, a girl you’d been spending time practicing magic? Is that her?”

She squints her eyes before closing them, of course. Her hell-bred of a sister has been gossiping about her and Josie behind her back. She’s sure her sister is like a shark, she’d always smell fear or hesitation on everyone. 

“Yeah… we hang out from time to time, Hope just pointed out I seem to like the girl. Maybe I’m overthinking about it…”

It took her more than an hour of interrogation and when her grandfather entered she let out a huge sigh of relief. 

“Mbah…” she rose up, slipping to her Javanese as she saw her grandfather with his smoking pipe, he lit up upon seeing them and suddenly the sweating probing from her grandmother is forgotten. 

Her grandmother clucks her tongue and rolls her eyes at them as she stood up alerting that lunch will be catered in a minute. Reminding them should they remain in their bubble.

“You okay, anak?” her grandfather put out his pipe and blowing a thin smoke, he was wearing his usual Ivy league attire, the thick sweater vest over the navy blue button-up and colorful bowtie, the fitted trouser, and comfortable loafer. 

“Yeah, just a little daze, Nan is always a bit intense like mbuk.”

Her grandfather, always a soothing voice, its smooth cadence comes forth even with the unrestrained laughter. 

“I guess your grandmother told you I flew the Iso here, after lunch, I’ll teach you how to drive a manual classic car.” Penelope groans while he sat beside her. Patting her back before leaning back and smoking his pipe.

“Why is everyone so adamant that I learned how to drive?”

“Your sister is not in Salvatore anymore,” 

“Uber and Lyft literally exist now.”

“Come on, now, the boating license and the glider license are really enough with you?”

Penelope scrunches her nose with faux annoyance before breaking into a smile. Somehow, since grandpa Archie Sr. passed her much likable grandfather has been closer to her and have been the one present to teach her when she got her glider and boating license last year.

“Okay, but if I end up destroying your beloved Italian, it won’t be on me.” 

Her grandfather finished the content of his pipe, cleaning it on the bronze ashtray and scraping some of the cake build-ups. He seems content as usual with the silence and she basks in the aroma that the room had become, its rich and pleasant to her nose and something warmth, unlike cigarettes which made her stomach queasy whenever she got a whiff of it. 

“When did I ever doubt your ability to understand mechanical instruction. I’m sure you’ve gotten the basic down after all the time you sat shotgun with all of us.” she rolled her eyes at her grandfather’s huge faith in her. 

Her grandfather was telling her about his trip to Washington when they heard the bell chimes. 

“Seems like lunch is set.” 

***

It turns out her brother has other ideas, hijacking her supposedly grandfather/granddaughter bonding as he learned that she’d rather go back to States than join them to Chamonix. Now, they scaled the empty road circling back from the town proper. Driving is easier for her as she doesn't have the nervousness and stiffness that most new drivers felt. Panic and anxiousness is something she learned how to manage at a young age being a Park, and Penelope has received far more commentaries about driving growing up that it’s not a problem, but Penelope isn’t fond of cars or especially enclosed spaces. She’d prefer the wind brushing through her face and hair if traveling or magic. 

Since learning a magical way of traveling at fourteen, she liked the idea of just using the spell to go from any part of the world. 

“I promise to be your escort if you start talking, Penny.” she sighs, as she shifted to third gear, trying to forget the annoying voice of her brother. He had been unrepentant in asking her about what’s going on around school. Probably, Thea’s fault. The two shared a large penthouse in the Upper West Side, overlooking Central Park while they both study in New York, her brother in Columbia while Thea in NYU. He doesn't like the culture of Harvard and Princeton that he chose Columbia where her Aunt studied. 

“You want me to get distracted and wreck Mbah Kakung’s prized car?” 

“You’ve been stalling.”

“Just teach and watch over my maneuver, Percival.”

“Rude.”

“Kangmas. Will you be a doll and just focus on the tips.” Percy chuckles, instructing her to slow down and stop on the side of the road. Quickly following Percy’s instruction, happy that her brother knew she’s so over the wheel. She’s tired of all the yapping while she’s trying to manipulate the antiquated vehicle. “I can’t believe he agreed on you taking this car out.”

“You’ve forgotten, Opa and I restored the 125.” she rolled her eyes as her brother jogged and shouted at her, remembering some of the past summers she spent in Richmond, where the two with her younger brother and her were stuck with the smell of brake cleaners, caked with grease, and paint to return the vintage motorcycle back to its glory. The said motorcycle has been gifted to Percy and he’d been using it in New York as his main transportation. 

If there’s something she loves about getting older, it’s particularly that part. Her brother ever the builder and with her had been doing several projects builds in one of their plant in Maryland. Her normal weekend leeway from the boarding school is spent on the workshop at least half of her Sunday. 

“Hey, I helped with finding the appropriate parts by lending my vast knowledge of Italian and speaking on your behalf to most dealers. I did the calculation for the crank you’ve broken.” she countered as she chose the lazy way of changing the seat, by skipping her legs over the mid console to the shotgun. 

“Yeah, because you’re a polyglot and a control freak.”

“Comes with the territory… Grandfather is literally a career diplomat.”

“You’re just a suck-up towards the old man.” she smiled sweetly at her brother because maybe she is. In all their family, her grandfather is the only one who is not uptight or too controlling and he always remained a great counsel to her.

“He’s a decorative prince who walks away from tradition… I admire that.” 

Her grandfather walking away from Solo and his Bhagawan duties back in his homeland is somewhat a legend of a kind. He was sent to study in Harvard but he stayed and never returned until he met her grandmother and he introduced the old woman to his family in Indonesia.

“Lucky that you’re born as twins, you weren’t affected by the curse,” she changed the subject. “Drus, wasn’t so lucky…”

“Not our problem dad married mom. right?” They both feel how the atmosphere inside the car changes, Penelope stared on the outside. Watching the gloomy scene of the wet and icy month.

“He’s back in Ravenwood?” she softly asked, their youngest brother has been growing rebellious for some time now. When Pria started to display magical abilities at four and Drus was already eleven and not a single spark of magic. They knew he’s like their grandfather. The whole family tried to protect him for years about it but there’s so much they could do about the reality.

“as if he has a choice…” 

Years ago… the marriage between her father and mother was something that her grandfather and few elders in the Divine Twilight heavily went against, leading for her father to be cast aside. Not until her birth that he was welcomed back to the core after being exiled. To be married to who has been hailed as one with the divine, despite the royalty lineage in Indonesia. Her grandfather’s line has been plagued by controversy for centuries in the witch communities. It happened when their great ancestor has killed a man to take his wife for himself. Such selfishness and greed for power come with a stiff price, the men connection to Nature have been lifted, making the women offsprings mystically powerful and the kingdom thrive under the women. Hecate personally drawing the blood curse upon her grandfather's lineage thousands of years ago.

Percy was one of the lucky ones, being born as a twin under the red moon with Thea… Her grandfather’s coven was able to link the twins together, like how it was with her mother and uncle Jordan though their powers are opposite to each other they totally mimic one another. Sharing magical signature isn’t normal, but the two men couldn’t really have a say about it as it was the elders' solution as the curse inflicted on her grandfather's lineage is irreversible. No loophole is possible to lift a blood curse made by a god, because it doesn’t follow the normal rule of witches.

Her younger brother wasn’t lucky, Drus is as normal as he could get. It made her overprotective of the boy yet she could feel how much resentment the boy is harboring as they grew older. After the thirtieth boarding school, he is back in Ravenwood. Studying in the private school just a few towns over under the strict observation of their grandma Ilse. 

“They told me you’d had your eyes on the oldest of the Saltzman’s twins…” she groaned. Her brother’s attempt to break the rising tension wasn’t the best. Now, she wanted to hex Thea for talking or even Jed. Maybe it’s Jed. The jackass has always a way of unintentionally stepping his toes on uncharted water. 

“You got—“

“P, you need to talk about things like this, like a normal teenager.”

“Last time I check, Percival, we’re far from normal teenagers.” she rolled her eyes. What does she do in her past life for her to get caught up being a Park?

“It’s okay to be afraid, it’s life after all.” it’s wistful and airy as if her brother was trying not to break her. 

“What if I’m the only one feeling this. If it isn’t obvious… our family has always been unlucky regarding romance.” she put her phone out. Staring at the photo she took of Josie after the girl won the traditional witch warrior bout. She liked the girl like this, hair tousled and strands falling on her face after three rounds which Josie won. “I had a duty to do, a father to save from perdition.” Percy’s hand clamped on her shoulder, a tight squeeze while they both look in front. 

“What’s bapak used to say?” 

“Always look forward to a new dawn.” she rolled her eyes, “I don’t think it applies. We both knew our family is falling apart, Per. Drus, mom, even Thea… however, I justify it, we’re not the same.”

“Like you always say, change is constant. Trying to save the people who don’t want to be saved. It’s never on you, adiak.” She sighs, she never understood how she could say this a year ago to Hope yet she couldn’t even take her own advice. 

“You’re ridiculous,” 

“Why?”

“You’re the empath and yet you’re advising me to let it go.”

“Tell me, from the time since you got in the order, how much of the spell you’re working with is related to father’s condition.”

“I’m a dimensional witch, Per. It’s breathing for me to study and collectively improve my connection to all realms.”

“Even if the said realms are closed and inaccessible for you.” 

A dangerous motion is on her mind, yet she doesn’t speak it. Afraid that if she utters the word, her brother would go ballistic on her. He definitely will. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about everyone but most SEA countries are all about respecting your elders and having titles to call them. I remember when I went to Indonesia they are big on addressing the other, right, But I'm not so familiar with Javanese and my Bahasa sucks but I try to incorporate it here, so anyone would like to share and message me on Twitter @/posiepark24. 
> 
> Opa and Oma are dutch terms for grandfather and grandmother because they've been colonized by Dutch.
> 
> I mostly headcanon Pen as Javanese descent and lineage coming from the earliest Mataram Kingdom which was recorded on the Chinese scriptures 143 yrs before the Indian Thallasocrasy spread to Java. 
> 
> Bapak, pak = Father  
> anak, 'nak = child  
> Mbah, Mbah Kakung = Grandpa  
> Adiak = young sis  
> Kangmas = older brother  
> Ibu/ mbuk = mother
> 
> Thanks for reading! Sorry for the grammatical errors, I try to edit every time I notice something is wrong... also lastly:
> 
> For Penelope's siblings:
> 
> The oldest is a half-sister named Andromeda (Andy for short)
> 
> The twins, Percival and Panthea (Percy and Thea)
> 
> Pen being the middle child
> 
> Phaedrus nicknamed Drus
> 
> The little and youngest Prianca, nicknamed Pria.


	3. Lost and Falling In Translation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are drug scenes, and also violence in the latter part. Just a trigger warning if you wanted to jump on it. It contains flashbacks. Also words... this is long. I try to make it shorter though.

> Ma Cherie  
> Time wont be enough  
> To make you even fall in love with me Prefer the needle to me  
> Want to hold you in my arms  
> But you want nothing to do with me Ma Cherie  
> I can't seem to make you love me Today oh today  
> I just want to see that frown  
> Go away go away
> 
> -Ma Cherie by Palaye Royale

Penelope has been so lost, it’s been a week since her tense conversation with her brother. Even her grandfather’s knowing and comforting smile hasn’t given her comfort due to the mess she has back on Salvatore. So she either spent her days inside her room casting a silencing spell to blast Red Hot Chili Peppers “Otherside” on repeat and going as far as avoiding Hope.

She missed classes and if she did attend she’s on a drug haze, too out of the loop. Neglecting her duties as she retreated either in her room or sleeping on the roof while getting high on the strongest mix of her weed. She’s tired of thinking, and she knew neglecting her duties is just adding to the stress that’s building inside her. Her mind has been plagued with thoughts about Josie, making it harder to really concentrate. 

She should just talk to Josie. Say her piece and get out. 

She should have been enjoying school and doing her normal pranks but no. She's rendered putty at the moment. Soup. No plans or whatsoever.

She thought being away will give her a chance to gather her thoughts but no. It just made her more torn up inside. 

Like how could she explain the outburst without making it obvious that she apparently cared when she’s been saying the other way around for a year. 

She’s been on the roof for some time now, the dusky sky and the pitter-patter of the rain falling on her face felt nothing. She couldn't even feel the cold. She can feel her bones numbing and she deduced she'll get sick for this but she’d rather stay here than to see Hope. She knew how her words cut but she wouldn’t think of it at the moment. For now, the cascading cold rain is enough repentance to wash the guilt away as she's reminded of how awful she was on the tribrid. Which she knew the other girl doesn’t deserve. 

Her uniform is soaked, she’s hidden from the cold wind as the slope of the two slanting roofs, protecting her from the gust of wind, but it’s January. She’s practically having an ice bath from the winter rain, climate change is too real. They’d just experienced days of heavy snow— her train of thought stops when the rain stop hitting her face and she felt hot air and her clothes drying. 

“Knew I’ll find you here.” 

She remained on her back, lying down, though she glances at the soft voice.

It’s Hope, she had her ‘serious, I’m angry at you right now but you’re a dumbass for staying out here.’

“Hope-y…” 

“You’re high,”

“You cut class…” Penelope comments but her face staring at the sky, the downpour continues but for some reason, Hope puts them in a protective cube, “It’s lab time, Chemistry…” their final class for this day.

“Yes, but you’re my lab partner, we’re supposed to distinguish the chemicals via the flame color by using the bunsen burner.” 

“I’ll do the lab reports…”

“Without being there?”

“You can always share your memory with me and I’d figure it out.” she rolled her eyes, magically getting a joint from her stash before muttering a fire spell to lit the joint. She forcefully took the barrier down with a cube severance spell. Closing her eyes, she imagines the comfort of her dorm room, when she has a full visual she muttered the tale old spell, opening a portal back to her room, where she felt herself fall, vanishing in front of Hope by a smoke. The smell of rain and the hard asphalt terracotta-colored roof her back had grown accustomed to change into a soft cotton burgundy comforter and the smell of spicy-woody perfume she usually wore, zest, leather, and coffee.

It momentarily brought her comfort as she inhaled another hit, letting the smoke soaked at the back of her tongue for her brain to absorb the THC longer than necessary, for full relaxation. Before she could forget and drift off to her thoughts, too high to get her spell right. Penelope put a barrier spell to her doors. Not wanting to be disturbed she drifted off after finishing the joint.

She’s too hyperaware, it’s the weed working her brain.

She knew she’s either daydreaming or she drifted off to sleep and dreaming. It’s almost two years since she first steps foot on the school. Or maybe it’s her weed affecting her subconscious too much.

Thinking of Josie. 

Definitely, she wrote too many words on her journal pertaining to the brunette half of the wonder twins. 

It was what you’d considered the briefest meeting of the eyes… something she doesn’t know why she dwells too much about in the incoming months.

_She was looking bored beside Percy, her older brother, going on about his upcoming break in the Alps with his preppy friends— and she’s tuning it out, fully listening to the blonde headmistress. Her brother being in America is new, but he had a week trip off from his posh witch school in Sussex to scout the invitation between Harvard and Princeton for his exposure tour. Meanwhile, her mother was busy reading the brochure that Caroline gave them even though her mother fully knew about the school existence when they met in the headmistress office, her mother, Aurora Park, scouted Salvatore since its creation and where Andy spent her four years of high school after thinking she’ll stay in the posh witch academy in New York where her half-sister grew up while receiving personal witch teaching from Aunt Pan. As for her other sister, Percy’s twin Thea is somewhere along this hallway right now, possibly leading witches or whatnot for some soirees and for her to make this a perfected role play of being ushered around._

_However, she wasn’t perking up for high school, specifically the thought of boarding school and the faux camaraderie that witches, wolves, and vampires can co-exist peacefully, she can feel the hypocrisy of this institution getting under her skin as she continued listening to the over-enthusiastic blonde about how they managed to be the first supernatural school to integrate three different supernatural species for the years or so it was established._

_While her ears were trained to the blonde headmistress who doesn’t look like past the age of twenty —being a vampire, certainly have its perk— her eyes were roaming around the old house turned boarding school of the Salvatore family. Eyes fleeting a glance over two girls, one was blonde and dramatically clasping the arms of the brunette who meekly nods along. That’s when their eyes met, a fleeting glance, and the brown-eyed girl looks distracted as she paid little over the meeting of their eyes. Her brow arched up with questioning eyes, she can see the honey brown pools exude confusion as she glances towards Penelope again but behind those brown orbs she can see unwavering resolved for whatever the two girls were scuffling about._

_The second time their eyes met was that same day, they were being paraded around the library. The brunette was alone but the library is also busy with other students, busy reading or writing down notes, cramming to study for the finals, but the slightly taller blonde from earlier came barreling once again, now she can see the girl’s face, who looks like in a verge of a mental breakdown from how frustrated and close to tears she is, she watches as the brown-eyed girl deeply inhaled, shoulders straightening._

_In a short while, another came in, a red-headed girl accompanied by a black man, definitely faculty, there are some hushed words exchanged between the three. The headmistress too distracted didn’t paid attention to the three girls in the background as she went on about the collections of the Salvatore family and powerful sponsors like St. John's and their collection of lost and supernatural relics, she almost scoffs, they were so clueless. Putting dangerous items in the school with witches, werewolves, and vampires who are far more susceptible to the dangerous notions._

_Penelope had to laugh. But the Penelope right now is too distracted on watching the unfurling event in front of her eyes, she saw the glint of disdain crosses the brunette as the black man and the redhead turned around, she’s pretty sure the redhead is the infamous Hope Mikaelson —not that she’s gonna blabber about it— she saw the brunette as she closes her fist, her other hand glowing red from resting near the wall and next thing happened was what she didn’t expect._

_The redhead was near a lamp and it burst into flame, nearly scalping the retreating girl. Caroline's brow furrowed but didn’t pay much attention to it, The brunette witch, turning pale as she realized what she did but it seems like no one notices it was her fault. Only then that Penelope and the brunette beauty eyes met far longer. The strawberry cheeks made her chuckled. The girl looked embarrassed, the outburst was cute in her opinion. So she did wink at the brunette before tearing her gaze upon the stranger._

Before Penelope could linger on the memory, she feels her body falling. Drifting back on the first three days she had on the school that August. Three months after she first saw the brunette and finally a week or so that she had a name to the face.

_“So how are you settling in?”_

_Penelope was startled, she wasn’t so sure anyone would still be up this late and she doesn’t even understand the cat-like reflexes the girl in front of her has. Being able to sneak up on her like that, she’s in her midnight run for hot chamomile tea, it’s been days but she’s having a hard time adjusting to the whole routine of having a curfew, sleeping and waking up early, the mundane responsibilities like being on time for breakfast, classes and the students around._

_It’s all new and she felt like a fish out of the sea. Not sure if she’s doing the whole school thing right, not to add her sister has been on her tail since the first day. Introducing her to her crowd of witches, the responsibility for Hecate and the non-stop buzzed around her, asking her if she even got her classes right and being a pain on her ass and consequentially reminding her about her actions as if she’s some weird person. All in all, she just wants everything to go away._

_“Just peachy…” she turned around, the boiling kettle has loose chamomile tea on the strainer. “Do you always sneak up on people, miss Josette Saltzman?” she cocked her brow with a slight upturned on her lips._

_  
“It’s Josie… I’m sorry, I—“_

_She could read panic setting on the face of the girl so she broke into a small smile as she put the tea on her mug. “No, problem, cutie… Chamomile?” Josie shook her head no. “Well, what are you doing here?”_

_“I’m getting some cheese puffs, It’s a Friday. Lizzie and I were binging IZombie.” She stared cluelessly, “You don’t know what IZombie is?” Josie has been opening one of the cabinets. Getting a bag of what she can tell is an organic cheese puff._

_“A zombie show? like walking dead or something?” she said, unsure, for some reason, Penelope grew up too busy to really pay attention to movies or shows.She has too many extra-curricular, not to add the heavy load of her studies and witch training. Penelope remained glued watching Josie move around, grabbing a bag of popcorn kernels and putting it on the microwave._

_Josie turned around to face her, she has a weird smile, directed at her, it’s too bright and she doesn’t know if the drowning feeling is bad or good. All she knew, the girl is adorable with those sparkling brown eyes with a wide smile._

_“Aha! You don’t watch series?”_

_“I do,” she squints her eyes, hesitant to tell another person that maybe she doesn’t really binge-watch. Josie grabs two colas and a small bag of M &M’s. She did watch not reverently as Josie looks like. _

_“Name one,” Josie smile at her, putting all the trove of food on the tray._

_Penelope is a bit stump, for some reason her brain is lagging. Which is unnatural to her, so it took her seconds before she could answer, “criminal minds? CSI? uhm, crime anthologies.” They end up staring at one another. She broke into a sick grin, “I liked gnarly grime-y stuff.”_

_“Try watching IZombie then,”_

_“Only if you watch it with me?” she joked, it’s supposed to be an offhand comment because she’s a flirty person. Flustering people have always come easy to her. Then she catches as how the girl, grew another deep shade of red and her sputtering with an answer followed by a lighthearted chuckle and small giggles, thankfully the ding of the microwave can be heard and Josie escaped the muttering mess that she becomes as she went and grab the popcorn out._

_Cursing lightly as the package fall, she trails closely, telekinetically stopping the bag of popcorn to drop and putting it on the counter as she grabs Josie’s hand. She’s sure the girl singed her fingers and a small part of her palm off._

_She pulled Josie to the sink and magically made the running water cold, “Keep your palm under the cold water.” She muttered a numbing spell and watch as it glows. “Thought your fire-resistant or something?” Josie laughs but shakes her head no._

_“It's silly but I genuinely forgot the packet is hot.” She starts magically pulling things out of the air. A small canister of burn balm she mixed and stored in one of her shelves in the dorm room, non-adhesive band-aids and start working._

_“This will stop the blistering,” she said as she holds soft hands with slight callused fingers. “You play the guitar?” she looked up, their faces are close that she steps back a little. Getting a bit winded by how close they are. Josie however, looked entranced and drifting eyes from her face to their hands. Cheeks and ears red._

_Penelope couldn’t help herself, as a small smile spread her face, what a development…_

_“U- I- Uhm, I’m trying to learn it but I play the uke better.” she starts putting little band-aids on the fingers that received the burnt damage. “How’d you know?”_

_“The tip of your fingers,” she pointed out and Josie’s cheek reddens. Penelope grew up far too observant that she could easily read everything. “Well, here you go, don’t get yourself into too much trouble.” she winks._

_Josie let out a soft gasped before pulling away, “I— Thank you, Penelope…”_

_“Anytime, Sunshine. I’d love to play nurse with you... anytime…” she quickly swipes her hand over the objects she used, making them disappear but leaving the canister of burn balm. “Here, keep this. I have a feeling you like playing with fire… That mix will leave no blister.”_

_Josie stood dumbfounded, with her slightly open mouth that looks too pouty even downturn._

_Penelope left the kitchen with a smile as she has her mug of tea on the other hand. Seeing how speechless and blushing Josie Saltzman made her night._

_That morning she barely remembers dreaming of big doe eyes, plump lips, and red cheeks with a soft giggly smile and shocked face._

Maybe she’s too high, her brain supplying flashes of a dream she barely remembers that night. But before she could delve over the reason her subconscious is supplying her another memory played clearly on her mind. 

It was the night where Thea visited them. 

_They are in the gym, a dozen of them or so. witches from Hecate, Dawn, Craft, and Terra Mater with the exception of two wolves, Jessie and Laine. Josie was seated between Lizzie and Kiera while she’s planked by Hope and Jas opposite of her was her sister Thea. The activity was supposed to poster camaraderie among them towards old coven leaders, as the whole circle consists of core leaders and former. It's to build trust and openness as her sister lovely worded. For all she knew, it's just some sort of ploy her sister is playing._

_The spinning bottle laced with a truth spell, all the while, all she wanted to just really rest. Except her sister drag her out of her room to go to the gym. Her mind too focused on drawing down the whole electrical circuitry of the converted K1100 into a scrambler that she didn’t even realize Thea was beside her sneaking on her, forcing her to come._

_She escaped most of it until a fateful spin, its nose stop in front of her. The butt of the bottle on her sister. There’s a dangerous glint on Thea’s eyes and she knew she’ll never like where it's going._

_The rule is simple. You cannot choose between truth or dare. They will just ask two hard tasks, telling hard truths with a dare or accepting another harsh dare._

_As they engaged in a silent battle of the eyes, her sister laughs. Loud. Cackled, really. It made her skin crawled and she never felt things like that, unless it’s Thea. The older girl just had her ways of displacing her._

_“O, I’m going to enjoy this,_ **_Lil' sis_ ** _.”_

_“Get on with it, you hag,” she said snappily, even then, Thea’s face hadn’t changed. She gave that look of pure evil imagining, she suddenly put her hands inside her leather jacket, tilting her head, to show she’s not afraid. Even though underneath, she knew she's slightly terrified. There are only a handful of people she feels that terrified and Thea sadly is on the list._

_“Simple,_ _well, you either join my Wickery team tomorrow or you spend seven minutes of heaven with the gorgeous person you deemed in this circle, and airhead, before you say it's you, you need to pick through them?” Thea points at all of the participants as she sports her evil grin. She knew she’ll never pick that. If it’s a normal game of spin the bottle she wouldn’t hesitate to just grab Hope beside her and make out in front of them just to embarrassed her sister but no, the fucking truth spell will blowback on her face and she’d rather not be the butt of the joke for the whole week for the consequence of lying._

_She breathes deeply, staring at the bottle before deadly meeting her sister's eyes. She knew her sister was taking it too far, a way to ruin her even if they are supposed to be miles apart. Like what was the reason for her to even make this gathering when she’s in her first year in uni._

_Why can’t she just let me be, right?_

_“You’re an asshole, I’ll join your second-rate nonsense game tomorrow.” she decided with finality. She hates the game, god, she’d rather do unlimited pool laps than being caught playing Wickery. The whole incorporating of American football and the Harry Potter game of quidditch is not something she likes in the school. Even the game American Football is absurd for her, she never understands why they even call it like that. She preferred soccer._

_Her eyes dart towards the Saltzman twins when Lizzie spoke loudly._

_“Well, isn’t that juicy.” Lizzie perk up, she never really paid much attention towards the blonde but she really hates how arrogant the taller of the twins is with her self-grandiose. “Penelope Park who hates the Wickery tournament is joining us instead of making out with one of us.”_

_A sweet faux smile spreading her face, “why Saltzman, you volunteering? Sorry, I don’t deem you gorgeous enough to taste my sinfully good lips.” she ended it with a smirk and a wink. Lizzie’s face turned sour and then their eyes met. She’s been avoiding Josie’s gaze since earlier but now there’s a fleet of catching each other’s eyes once again. She breathes easier but she darts her attention back towards the bottle. Magically spinning it._ _Getting lost on the earlier happening. How teasing Josie became, it was exhilarating and she knew she’ll continue chasing for that high however terrifying it was. Maybe she’s secretly an adrenaline junkie. Penelope thought she knew herself, by always far too knowing and calculated but maybe she loves the unknown. Josette Olivia Saltzman is definitely uncharted waters. A part of the unknown._

_Earlier, the neck of the bottle falls in Josie's direction and it was a huge awkward scene for her; she’s not really sure, but she felt awkward at first because Hope is the girl who laid the question to the brunette because it's her lucky day that Hope was the person opposite of Josie. The only one who basically knew she has a certain fascination over Josie and has the audacity to always hang it over her head._

_The dare was simply a set-up._

_Remind her to kill Hope Andrea Mikaelson again. Because the Tribrid trying to be her wing-woman is really not working._

_“Kiss the person who helped you around most this year or spend all weekendbeside the person you said is the most obnoxious and evil, aka, miss Penelope Park.” Hope on her part was really trying to conceal her laugher but sitting beside the tribrid she could hear the stifled laughter not to add that she can feel everyone eyeing them._

_She lifts her gaze towards the twins, funnily, the two have shocked expressions while she remained rooted, schooling her emotion. Expressionless because her neurons are still firing up her synapses, trying to catch up on what Hope said. It’s not gonna be her, she thought while it slightly hurt being called obnoxious and evil. God. Maybe she gets too far sometimes but it’s all in good fun, she never took Josie to take it too personally. It’s light banter in her mind._

_“Okay, Hope.” it barely registered to her but Josie stood up and walked in their direction._

_She’s clearly on a daze. She thought. Or dreaming. She tries not to stare, keep her eyes leveled. But there's a problem,_ _Josie with her sinfully long legs stops in front of her before ducking down. Her eyes widen when Josie has a soft smile. “Hi,” Josie said, shy smile and bright eyes. Her nape and cheeks heated, there’s palpable energy around them and she tries to subtly gulp._

_“Uh, yes? You seating beside me, gorgeous?” she figures it was what’s going to happen. Yet Josie shakes her head no, still, with that cute smile and reddening cheeks._

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_With that question, everyone who is watching them broke into cahoots of teasing, even Hope beside her bumps her shoulder while whistling. Penelope could feel how hard her heart is beating against her ribcage, she stares for a few seconds, getting lost in the chocolate brown._

_“Aw, Jo-jo, anytime…” she tried to recover smoothly and Josie nods, she closed her eyes as Josie’s face come closer and angled her face but when glossed lips came in contact on her cheek instead of her lips she quickly opened her eyes. Josie have a wide smile, she felt herself being doused by cold water._

_“That’s cold,” Hope whispered at her, as they both watch Josie stand and walk backward with a small smile before turning around. God. She wanted to die, of course, Josie wouldn’t kiss her on the lips. She can feel everyone is close to teasing her and if it wasn’t for her icy stares everyone would dare._

_She shook her head and ran her fingers on her hair before breaking into a smile. Even though she felt silly. The soft lips of Josie Saltzman colliding on her left cheek is something else._

Before Penelope could stay lost on the bittersweet memory… 

She’s back on the next day…

_She’d rather spend her day going to the plant and resting for the rest of the afternoon but no, she’d have to spend it with her sister and her assembled team of Wickery._

_She quickly checks their stats. If there's one thing that Penelope hates. It’s losing. She always has the air of coming around and telling everyone that she’s born to win. She does. She rarely loses on anything. Getting everything to play out directly how she plans it is something she’s great at._

_So when the second to the last match came and they are on some victory lap high. Jed going on his arrogant and over toxic masculinity ruined it for her. Her cousin collides with Josie and she saw how bad the fall._

_Pretty sure she can hear the siphoner wrist cracking. Lizzie immediately came throwing down a fist on Jed and hauling her cousin's ass off Josie who still on the ground. Without much thought, she left’s Clyde side and ran towards the collision._

_“Hey,” she quickly inserts herself, “Lizzie, give me some room,” she snaps at the taller blonde who looked ready to let out world-like wrath. “Does it hurt?” She tries to look at the wrist, softly asking Josie._

_The siphoner wince, Penelope can see swelling is starting on the wrist. “I’m gonna put a numbing spell but, when we treat this it’s gonna hurt like a bitch but hang on.” she squeezes the girl’s shoulder who looked shell-shocked._

_Josie nods in acknowledgment, she did multiple spells and she could see a perfect distal fracture._

_She hesitates but decides to let the girl know what they are dealing with medically speaking, “It’s a perfect break, distal fracture but I need to bind it with magic so the bones wouldn’t be misaligned.”_

_Penelope work quietly, her mind is blazing with anger but she’s tempering it with her precision work. Trying to drown the buzzing sound coming from everyone, even drowning out Lizzie’s snide after she finished the basic first aid for a broken bone._

_She brushes her palm on Josie’s shoulder, to catch her attention. “We should go to the glass dome. The witches’ tools and the herbs I need are all there. Nurse Lourdes is on her day-off.” She helped Josie stand-up and they walk, Lizzie pushing her out of the way as the twins walk side by side._

_She accepted it, the two are always a pair and went along with it. Staring as the two quietly squabbles in front of her. She knew her sister has been watching her but she doesn’t care at the moment. All she cares about is how to help Josie who was hurt, badly, it’s the first time she also saw Josie with tears welling in her eyes that she just went into motion._

_It wasn’t lost into her how Josie said that it’s okay and trying to calm her sister. How was it okay? It’s never okay and she’ll make sure Jed would regret it. She knew it’s weird to get this worked up but she had a plan and if her cousin wasn’t being obnoxiously showing off to one of the witches on the other team the fall wouldn’t even happen and Josie wouldn’t have a broken bone._

_Penelope hadn’t heard Lizzie goading a reaction out of her because she’s in her head. Thinking of the combination, trying to remember lessons with her aunt and eldest sister, Andy. Practically, she likes how capable she is when it comes to her magic. She’s trained traditionally to heal at a young age._

_As they walked inside, she prepared the different sized cauldrons, a stirring pipe, and magically pulling the keys given to her by Miss Czar._

_She’s one of the special cases that was given access to the shelvings that the school has on the glass dome. It may have to do with establishing Terra Mater inside Salvatore, a fully focused Earth and Elemental magic-user coven group that enables younger and lower year to participate._

_It took her fifteen minutes and the twins linger near the table, opposite of her and grabbing one of the high chairs and seating down. Watching her work, once she’s finished with the incantation and practiced stirring with proper heat to breakdown impurities and bind it back together, she transfers the concoction to a small clay bowl. Its once weird gooey yellow-green color transformed into a silver bluish liquid._

_“Here drink this,” she put the concoction in front of Josie. “It’s gonna taste bad, and the few minutes will be a bitch but after a while… you’ll feel like brand new.”_

_Her eyes shifted to Lizzie who has a questioning expression, “where did you learn that?”_

_She stared at Lizzie for a moment, before giving her an answer, “why, Elizabeth, do you think, Dorian asked me to be the sports assistant every time there’s a game. I’m not just an eye candy of the team as most of you perceive, I can do quick first aid.” Penelope turned her attention back to Josie, “I’m gonna take the binding spell and the numbing one, but you will feel a bit of a stomach ache and a bit of extreme pain in the arm area after as the bonding and calcification process upsets the stomach, also it will bring a ringing in your ears but it is better compared to spending a week of taking anti-inflammatory and then having a cast until the bone heals which takes months.” she’s careful to explain her words and eliminate some words; that what’s she’s doing is time manipulation. The concoction focused the incantation she imbued on directly go to the broken bones, making the process faster in minutes but it will hurt._

_She waited for a second but Josie gave her the go signal. Thanking her in the process. She quickly walked on Josie's side as she saw the girl wobble for heart-stopping seconds._

_“Just sit down, don’t force yourself.” she soothingly put her hand on the girl’s back._

_“Are you really sure about this?” Lizzie’s snark is gone, she honestly looked overly concerned about her sister._

_“Yes, just give it a minute, the swelling is gone but it will hurt a bit. I swear this is very effective.” She’d experienced broken bones from riding but she’s not gonna share that. In a while she sent the two away, fixing the mess she made and listing down the herbs she used, making sure everything is listed down and nothing is amiss to Ms. Czar, the adviser for Herblore and the woman who managed the garden._

_She’s still fuming. She never felt this kind of calm anger before, it’s borderline psychopathic but maybe she is because she’s focused to go back to the field but she saw that the game is over and heard some of the students who watched the game that even without her, Thea won against Zander’s team.The last match._

_Her feet brought her to the next possible destination. The boy’s locker room in the gym. Wolves mostly spent most of their time blowing steam on the gym that they usually used in the locker room for themselves. She wasn’t wrong because she saw a freshly showered Jed coming out of the locker room._

_She stormed over him. He has a stupid grin on._

_“Hey, cuz! Nice game, Clyde gathered the wolves to ce—“_

_Before he could finish whatever nonsense he was saying she closes her fist and turn it accompanying a breaking spell. Jed yelp from pain but she’s blinded with anger. Ever since the collision happened, all she’s been seeing was how Josie fall and how it's Jed's fault._

_“How small of a brain do you have to stray away from the game plan!” she angrily asked. There’s something about how fear can be transformed into anger that’s definitely happening to her. She suddenly losing control, and if it wasn’t for the draining spell potion she had maybe she would have been more murderous. “You’re a fucking werewolf, you well-know how—“ she snaps another bone, Jed is on his knees, but she couldn’t really hear it until a hand captured her wrist, making her stop mid spell._

_Josie’s pleas don’t register to her until the siphoner's hand is on her wrist. Stopping her, she wasn’t even aware that Jed apologized multiple times to Josie and even her because Josie is on a short towel, skin flushed, she concurred because of the hot shower._

_“Come on, you need to chill out. Let him go,” it’s the eyes, she thinks. Josie is pleading at her to stop, so whatever adrenaline from the anger she has starts to melt. she absent-mindedly followed the girl. Still staring at the hand wrapped on her wrist, the wrist that got fractured._

_“What was that?”_

_Josie asked her, there’s no judgment on her voice yet she felt small. It almost felt like her father questioning her on her impulsivity. She rests her back on the wall, not looking at the girl in front of her._

_“A lesson.”_

_“That’s not a lesson, Penelope,”_

_“My team was already winning earlier, he doesn’t need to play too rough. I’m just— you know what, I don’t need to explain myself.”_

_Penelope always has a hard time expressing herself when emotions are running high, it has been a problem for her but under the unflinching gaze of Josie, she felt too vulnerable._

_“You’re gonna end up explaining yourself. I’m telling Emma, this isn’t right.”_

_Upon hearing the questionable therapist, her face hardens. She meets Josie's eyes, she can feel her resolved and a wall coming back up._

_“Wow, Jo.”_

_“You have anger issues! Penelope, you hurt a fellow student so bad, intentionally I might add.”_

_Penelope really wanted to get out of control but she tries to reel it all in, accept the accusation. She’s used to it, but damn it hurts._

_'I’m sorry if I have high emotion and my concern to you turned into a blind rage.' words that were on the tip of her tongue b_ _ut her armor is still up so she gave a callous answer instead, “please he goes through that every goddamn month, werewolves have accelerated healing.”_

_“Yes, I learned Lycanthropy 101 since the origin of species at sixth grade, but inflicting pain on others is not right. Especially if it's an accident. Penelope, what happened earlier with Jed and I was an accident, you should let that go, not inducing a werewolf to turn in the afternoon.” Josie reasoned back, if it wasn’t the energy running a bit high she would’ve thought about how this is reminiscent of their bantering days when they practiced magic. “where did you even learn how to do that?” Josie asked her, she opted to keep and sat down on the bench, her attention withdrawn as she looks the other way, “I’m gonna continue showering, you stay here and simmer down and we’ll talk. You still have that murderous look.”_

_She nods in agreement. Her mind a little lost. Maybe she’s getting a bit invested, letting her emotion gets her._

_Before she falls into the pit of overthinking Penelope grabs the locker she knew Hope uses. She’ll wash it all away instead of overanalyzing it. Getting one of the clean towels on the locker and the caddy she went on one of the curtained showers to bathe. It was a quick cold shower and the next thing she’s changing into comforting jogging pants and shirt that Hope has._

_She magically pulls out the small card that she kept on her desk with her pen to start writing down an apology or something. She doesn’t really need to talk about it to Josie now that she’s not sure why she’s irrationally protective over the girl. She's also exhausted, the healing magic she performed and the Wickery game have taken their toll on her body._

_‘Sorry for losing my cool, I still stand corrected btw. He was a dick and boastful in the game. I’m just teaching him a lesson, no need for the administration to be brought in, I’ll check on him at the dorm. You take care, Jo-jo.’_

Penelope jerks awake, her head spinning. Maybe she’s coming down from a trip bad as she fell down on her bed and she crawls towards her fridge to get cold water. She regrettably opened one of the water and downing it faster. Her throat is too dry, her head is pounding and this must be because she’s been smoking too much for the past few days. 

She needs to get a grip. 

Either she starts accepting that yeah, she’s a bit in love with Josie Saltzman or acts as nothing happened and gets back to class like it’s normal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading... What do y'all think?

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the stills again and reminded about Jed already in Salvatore when the twins are so much younger and I HC Penelope and Jed as cousins. Though I know another possibility was the school accepts not yet turned werewolves like how I wrote the whole Josie-centric pov of the entire posie relationship but it would be just interesting that Jed was a witch-werewolf line but have barely-there magic due to his father's family coven and go with it. Knowing how Freya's son Nik is literally a witch-werewolf hybrid. 
> 
> Anyways, tell me what you think.


End file.
